Man Laws and Alcohol Abuse

November 30th, 2006
Posted by Travoli in General Comments
This Thanksgiving weekend a series of unfortunate events occured at Hell’s Kitchen. My beer was purposely hit by unnamed friend, causing it to overflow. Unnamed friend decided to do this again several minutes later on a fresh beer. The hit knocked the beer out of my hands and to the floor, spilling 75% of its contents. This was unacceptable. Unnamed friend was the most sober of the group. He should have known better. I gave him a choice: Finish the remainder of the beer, or have it poured over his head. Unnamed friend then commanded me to finish my beer and said I wouldn’t dare pour it over his head. Strategic error, I’m afraid. If he was the most sober of the group, I was the least sober. And two of my beers were now wasted. I gave him the options two more times, with the same reply commanding me to finish my beer. I was left no choice but to pour it over his head.

There was an initial anger period, but I believe we worked it out last night. We each explained our views, mine backed by this recent Miller Lite commercial titled "Man Law Overflow." Not cool to spill another man’s beer for fun. It was brought up that I had also wasted beer.  But my action was in retailation. Unnamed friend maintains that if another beer is spilled on his head, he’ll be swinging at the pourer. I believe a "don’t waste beer" truce has been established to everyones’ benefit. Fair enough. I don’t instigate these things.  But when pushed I will retaliate with equal measure.  Fair warning.

6 Responses to ' Man Laws and Alcohol Abuse '

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  1. Jonesy said, on November 30th, 2006 at 4:04 pm

    I respectfully disagree. I say you are allowed to fuck with someone’s beer ONCE. Not ruin it, and spilling it is up to the person holding it. After that first shot, war has been declared, open season on retaliation. And Travis, pouring beer on people is for chicks angry at their boyfriends. Or other chicks, in which case it is encouraged.

  2. Travoli said, on November 30th, 2006 at 4:47 pm

    Agree to disagree with everything you just said, except girl-girl beer showers. Pouring beer on heads is a long-standing man ritual in fraternities, for example.

  3. Jonesy said, on November 30th, 2006 at 7:10 pm

    OK, do frats pour beer on each other to celebrate, or to start a vicious man-tastic beer-foul cat-fight?

  4. Travoli said, on November 30th, 2006 at 7:39 pm

    We already agreed to disagree.

  5. Jonesy said, on November 30th, 2006 at 8:06 pm

    That’s what I’m saying to you!! Touche!!!

  6. Eric Lander said, on December 2nd, 2006 at 12:15 am

    How about we move past the touche’s and move closer to girl on girl beer showers?

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